.... i will be on a plane in ten hours, bound on a quick stopover in Honolulu for my last of two Japanese Encephalitis shots.... the following morning, i will be on a plane bound for Manila in the Phillippines, connecting to a final flight to Beijing in China, there to meet dear Tiffany in the Capital International Airport, as her flight gets in two hours prior to mine, and then to the Dream Travels Hostel to find dear Chris Mandel, to be the Three American Musketeers for a couple of days....
This is all the facts.... the reality? i have no idea what to expect; i have only the strong sense that everything will be just fine, because i have absolutely no agency in this matter of the travels of my life.... i move my body around and make base-level decisions about where to go and what to do, all guided every second by attention (ha ha.... hopefully) to the circumstances surrounding me.... and i have continually proven myself sorely lacking in the awareness department concerning such things.... Therefore, we may see what a critically enormous role my learning to be AWARE is, expressed in why this journey is happening in the first place....
My stuff - my gear - is a monkey on my back.... well, a pack on my back, anyway! Yes, i will spend a bunch of energy "tying my camel" as Willow says, making sure my "stuff" is "safe", and IT will energetically tie me to the material plane as i go.... Will this help me? Hinder me? i suppose IT's perfect at this time because i have IT; and when IT's time (if IT's time) for IT and i to part ways, then i must understand this to be the case.... The prime directive is to understand that this may happen! May not happen as well! Fifty-fifty, i have to be ready to have nothing, just as much as i eagerly and readily possess these shackling objects upon which i place the importance of the comfortable maintenance of my corporeal existence....
i am afraid.... and i am afraid of nothing....
i embrace.... and i embrace nothing....
i love so hard, and love with such spite and bitter gall.... and i love nothing
Where is the watcher? The stranger behind my eyes? Who will stay when all has turned to dust?
i cannot imagine letting go of everything; and yet, IT seems like the only fruitful position.... nothing ever plays out as i expect, so let my expectations be left behind with the already-read books and formats of the past.... The frontier remains ahead, hovering in the distance - the experiential reality of life in the world beyond.... Forge ahead without fear, for the shades wish to drape themselves over open attentive eyes, filtering agenda and propagandizing obedient zombery.... There is naught to fear in these, for the shades' only power is in their own realm, and their illusions are without substance in this.... Naught to fear in this, and the clarity of renunciation only serves to shine through the draping shades.... Naught to fear....
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